My memoir chronicles a sudden, unexpected descent into a toxic marriage, the unraveling of my physical health, and the painful excavation of hidden family wounds I had never been allowed to name — all while finding the courage to heal myself from the inside out.
Anette Nilsson – 24 March 2026
The Back Flap
Nette Nilsson has big dreams and is in the midst of pursuing them—starting by leaving Denmark to attend university in Toronto, Canada—when she falls for a beguiling but volatile American. Their romance moves fast, and in what seems like no time she finds herself living a privileged but deeply unhappy life in New York with her now-husband, Cal. After suffering for too long, she finally begins to find her way onto a better path—only to be abruptly faced with a life-threatening physical condition. To survive and to heal, Nette must confront dark family lies and her hidden traumas and find her own power again.
In an era of increasing awareness regarding how many strong, intelligent women ignore their gut and lose themselves—and the lives they dream of having—when they become entangled with toxic men, Soul-Happy illuminates the underlying reasons for one promising young woman’s downhill slide after she falls for “the wrong kind of love,” and follows her harrowing battle to put herself back together again.
About the book
What is the book about?
Raised in Denmark, educated in Toronto, and shaped by years in New York, I lived a life defined by movement — across continents, relationships, ambitions, and identities. My memoir chronicles a sudden, unexpected descent into a toxic marriage, the unraveling of my physical health, and the painful excavation of hidden family wounds I had never been allowed to name — all while finding the courage to heal myself from the inside out.
When did you start writing the book?
I started writing in 2007, during a vacation in the Dominican Republic.
How long did it take you to write it?
I finished the first draft in 2012 and took a five-year hiatus from writing. By 2017, I picked the manuscript up again and, by 2021, finished revising it. Indeed, it took me a long time to write and hone my story.
Where did you get the idea from?
I started reading memoirs in the early 2000s when the memoir genre was in its infancy. Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt and Expecting Adam by Martha Beck made indelible impressions on me. This type of story touched me in a way I hadn’t experienced before. And while vacationing in the Caribbean, I experienced a thunderbolt moment, suddenly full of inner knowing that I, too, had to write my story, my memoir.
Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?
The structure of the memoir turned out to be my biggest struggle. I began writing without giving thought to how I wanted to structure my story. These days, there are various forms of memoir—braided, chronological, hybrid, and thematic, to name some—but I never put any thought into the structure. Once I’d committed my story to the pages—around 800 pages—it became a lot of work to turn my writing into a suitable format. But I think that this is the way it had to be—I had to go through an extended writing and releasing process to hash out the essence of my journey.
What came easily?
Writing the initial draft came easily. I was solely focused on telling my story as it came to me in a raw and somewhat jumbled manner. I wasn’t considering stylistic choices, time jumps, flashbacks, or framing devices, etc. I experienced much joy and satisfaction in the pure, unrestricted flow of writing my lived experiences.
Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?
My characters are real and exactly as I recall them, although some names and details have been altered to protect their privacy.
We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?
Martha Beck and Frank McCourt influenced my initial memoir writing, as did Cheryl Strayed and her memoir Wild. These days, I am writing women’s fiction, so the gang of writers who influence my writing is broader. I relish storylines and characters that offer insight into the human condition; additionally, I enjoy stories that bridge the physical and energetic realms. I have many favorite authors, but Fredrick Backman and Charlotte McConaghy are two of my current favorites.
Do you have a target reader?
I believe my memoir will reach those readers who carry a resonance for this kind of story. However, from a marketing perspective, my target readers for Soul-Happy are those who find themselves stuck in a life they never intended, anyone with a chronic illness, those who are in or have escaped a toxic relationship, and readers interested in Scandinavian culture. So, really a broad spectrum of target readers.
About Writing
Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?
I firmly believe creativity is something we can tap into; it is a potential that exists outside of our minds which we can connect to. When I first became serious about writing, I intentionally created a sacred space in my office, using prayers, candles, and essential oils, as I felt this would enable me to open to the flow of creativity. It worked. In recent years, I no longer do this ritual, but find that whenever I enter my writing space, something inside me shifts and I’m in “creation mode.”
Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?
In my younger years, before I published my first book, I was a pantser. That never really worked for me. Now, I outline my story and a myriad of details before starting the actual writing. This feels more natural to me.
Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?
At times, I wish I didn’t edit as I go because that slows down the writing process. I am a slow writer, possibly because of editing concurrently with writing. Still, that’s how my process works best.
Did you hire a professional editor?
I’ve had the great fortune of working with editors at various points during the long process of writing Soul-Happy. These editors, each incredible in their own way, gave me confidence in my writing and in my story. They taught me so much, and I cannot praise them enough. Without the guidance of these three editors, I doubt that I would be so proud and happy with the end product. In today’s setting, writing and publishing require a community.
Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?
No. I write best in silence. Although recently I was out of town and spent several afternoons in a café. I was surprised how effortless writing came to me in that environment.
About Publishing
Did you submit your work to Agents?
Yes, I had an agent a couple of years ago.
What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher?
I traditionally published a middle-grade adventure book many years ago. This was a deeply frustrating experience, partly because I didn’t have full ownership and say in the final product and because the publisher lacked transparency. For these reasons, I declined the publisher’s offer to write the sequel. However, I tried getting Soul-Happy published traditionally before deciding on signing with She Writes Press.
Was it a particular event or a gradual process?
It was a gradual process. While I, at first, attempted to land a traditional deal, the entire process felt claustrophobic. It then occurred to me that I wanted a partnership with experienced publishing professionals, people who would guide me, but where I would retain full rights and say. Once I realized that this was my ultimate dream, She Writes Press suddenly came into my awareness, and it was a simple decision to sign with them. I couldn’t be happier with my publishing choice.
Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?
Designing book covers is one of the services you get when signing with She Writes Press. I was part of the design process, adding my input to the various rounds of design. This process worked very well.
Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?
I am drawing inspiration from other authors’ marketing plans, but mostly I am winging it.
Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?
Engage your community. Have other people read your work early on and be receptive to their feedback. Don’t give up on your writing! It took me 19 years to publish my memoir, but along the way, I learned invaluable skills and grew a book and writing community I wouldn’t be without. If writing is your passion, be passionate about it: hone, honor, and provide it with the best possible circumstances.
About You
Where did you grow up?
I was born in Toronto but grew up in Denmark.
Where do you live now?
I have dual residence: northern Denmark and New York.
What would you like readers to know about you?
I much prefer the Danish pronunciation of my first name; the English one feels harsh. Anetta is how you say my name.
What are you working on now?
I am working on a women’s fiction novel. The main character is a woman from northern Jutland, Denmark, who is considered gender-confused and odd by her world. Her life revolves around telling stories, but others don’t know about the shocking secret she carries. Maybe she is not telling stories but speaking truth.
End of Interview:
Get your copy of Soul-Happy from Amazon US.
