Just like that everything changed. I shifted my intention to write the book for me, for my deeper healing, to write something that would help me reconcile and make meaning, to find peace and closure. The rest flowed from there. 

Sarah May – 10 September 2025

The Back Flap

Few things can shatter our hearts like expectations. Sarah expected to live happily ever after. She expected her husband to honor his vows. She expected his military helicopter to land safely. But when the unimaginable occurred, the undoing of her expectations left her on her knees, fighting for her life. One courageous step at a time, Sarah packed her car, then set out to hike and camp across the country. But pain, codependence, and trauma challenged her as she moved forward. From a sailboat to a yoga studio, a therapist’s couch to a shaman’s ceremony, from selling everything and moving into a van—on the ashes of her former expectations, Sarah rebuilt, from the inside out.

About the book

What is the book about?

She Journeys chronicles my first marriage—a relationship of dysfunction, abuse, and betrayal—and the decade-long healing process after divorce and trauma to rebuild my life from the inside out. It’s a story about resilience, hope, forgiveness, and love. This book is about the transformative power of healing and finding home when we lose what we think is our “everything”.

When did you start writing the book?

I’d dreamed of writing this book since my divorce in 2013, but wasn’t in a place in life where the conditions were right. I was working multiple jobs so I had very little personal time or creative energy, I wasn’t in a relationship that supported the process, and perhaps most importantly, I still had a lot of healing work to do. It wasn’t until 2020 when I found myself in a new relationship and I took a giant leap with my life—I left my job, sold all my belongings, and moved into a self-built campervan—that I had the opportunity to honor the dream of writing. My new partner and I hit the road to explore the American West and visit as many National Parks as possible. What was supposed to be a couple of months turned into five years when we each fell in love with this alternative lifestyle. We both started writing our respective books around the same time and his came out a few months before mine! (Now Is the Time: A Van Life Road Trip, Andrew Singer) Leaving my old life was the catalyst I needed to create the right conditions to write this book:  space and time. I started writing in earnest in 2021 and signed a book deal with my publisher, She Writes Press, in July of 2024.

How long did it take you to write it?

I finished a really bad first draft in a year. The final book hardly resembles anything from that first draft, which is wild. The next three years were spent re-writing and editing version after version, so it took about four years total and a little over one year to work with the publisher. I’ve had at least seven major manuscript revisions. This was my first book and because it was so deeply vulnerable and personal, a lot came up in the writing process that was painful and required a lot of support and deeper healing.

Where did you get the idea from?

I’ve kept a daily journal since I was a teenager so writing has always been my way of reflecting. Writing a book about everything I went through seemed more like an inevitable outcome rather than an idea. But when I set out to write my book, I had trouble knowing where to start. I put a lot of pressure on its purpose. I hoped it would help other women who had gone through something similar. I was reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert where she says “Whenever anyone tells me that they want to write a book in order to help other people I always think ‘Oh, please don’t. Please don’t try to help me.’ I mean it’s very kind of you to help people, but please don’t make it your sole creative motive because we will feel the weight of your heavy intention, and it will put a strain upon our souls.” Just like that everything changed. I shifted my intention to write the book for me, for my deeper healing, to write something that would help me reconcile and make meaning, to find peace and closure. The rest flowed from there.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

There were two really hard parts about writing this book. The first is the personal reflecting I had to do. I dug into the past and revisited incredibly painful and traumatic memories in order to tell my story. I read old journals, news articles, and watched interviews of my ex-husband. It was so triggering. Writing forced me to be with all the pain all over again, but thankfully from a much more empowered, safe, and supported place. It was hard to take ownership of some of my behaviors in my marriage, it was so hard to acknowledge my own dysfunction. But writing allowed me to take my power back from the past and own my story fully. The second hard thing had to do with the writing itself. I became burned-out after writing version after version, taking it to an editor and making revision after revision. It took a lot of commitment and patience. Ultimately, it was all worth it, but writing a book is a true feat.

What came easily?

It was the best feeling when I found my “flow” with writing. I hit a stride where at some point, I was having dreams about writing. I would wake up with a sentence. I would be constantly editing or creating in my head. I was so immersed in the process and it was incredible to feel that creative energy pouring out of me. Some of my favorite passages in the book came from that time.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

Since it’s a memoir, all the characters are based on real world people. I changed names and identifying characteristics in order to protect their privacy.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

I’m an avid reader and usually have multiple books open at any given time. I gravitate towards non-fiction, specifically inspiring memoir, personal growth, self-help, and spirituality. Authors like Glennon Doyle, Cheryl Strayed, Brianna Wiest, Clarissa Pinkola Estes and Edith Eger have all impacted me greatly. Common themes in their writing include: vulnerability, honesty, raw humanity, and deep heard-earned wisdom. They write so beautifully that their words feel like medicine.

Do you have a target reader?

My book would resonate with women who are interested in personal growth, self-development, and spirituality. Women who have experienced divorce or whose worlds have crumbled and had to rebuild from the ashes.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

I don’t have a process so much as I prefer a certain environment. Van life means every day looks different. Some days we have errands to run in a city or town. Some days we’re driving to our next destination so we have to sleep at a Walmart parking lot. But my favorite days are when we’re camped somewhere beautiful for a stretch of time. These are the days when I can write. I wake up, make a pour-over, journal, then open my computer and get to work outside in my camp chair. It might be next to a creek, it might be in the desert, it might be in a pine forest; but those days I have the time, space, and setting to focus on my work.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

I did not outline this book, but I would have saved myself a lot of time if I had. If I were to write another book, I absolutely would.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

For my first draft, I just had to write. I didn’t worry about the editing. Getting it all out and finishing was the most important thing. Then came the editing.

Did you hire a professional editor?

I had a few close trusted people edit my first manuscript. My best friend (who is a professional editor), my husband (a writer), and my mentor (also an author). I really appreciated the different perspectives they each offered and their input absolutely made the book better. I hired a professional editor when I reached what I thought was my “final” manuscript and She Writes Press also provided a proofreader.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

Yes! I love listening to music when I write. If Andrew and I are writing near each other we listen to classical. If I’m on my own then I listen to indie or electronic.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

I tried for over a year with no luck to land a literary agent. Oftentimes, I wouldn’t hear back at all from my queries. I must have garnered over 60 rejections. It was disheartening and frustrating after pouring so much into my book. I did receive feedback that a platform would be critical for my genre (which I don’t have) so I hit a lot of dead-ends. Ultimately, I gave up the chase and decided to work directly with a hybrid publisher.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

I discovered She Writes Press in Powell’s Bookstore in downtown Portland after pulling a book off the shelf. I still had my heart set on traditional publishing, but when it became clear that wasn’t going to happen, I reconsidered She Writes Press. It turns out my mentor knew an author who had worked with them and she had nothing but good things to say. I decided to submit my book and was pretty quickly was offered a contract. They are an award-winning hybrid publisher and I am really grateful for the opportunity to work with them. I appreciate the space they’ve created for female authors like me without platforms because it gives us a chance to share our stories. I love that they have distribution with Simon & Schuster, but that I still retain all my rights. The entire process working with them has been incredibly collaborative and I’m excited to see where it leads.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

I chose the image, but the team at She Writes Press did the cover design.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

I have a marketing plan and I hired a publicist based off the recommendation from She Writes Press. I’m working with Books Forward who have been amazing! They have gotten my book (and me) exposure that I never could have on my own, which as an indie author, is critical.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

The first act is the writing and publishing. The second is the marketing and promoting. As indie authors, our books don’t sell themselves and their success is up to us. It’s a long road and a lot of work, but there is nothing like finally holding your book in your hand or signing a copy to a reader. Honoring our dreams is one of the best feelings in the world.

About You

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in a small town in the California Sierra Nevada mountains. I have six brothers and one sister, so there was always someone to play with and something to do. I loved where we lived; we had a beautiful lake where we spent our summers and a small ski resort where we spent our winters. My high school was tiny, so I made every sport team I tried out for, made amazing friends, and there was so much opportunity. While the community was rural and sheltered, it was an incredible place to be a kid.

Where do you live now?

I live in a campervan full-time with my husband who is also an author. We travel across the American West camping in public lands, and spend our time writing and exploring. We are currently on a Van Life Book Tour visiting indie bookstores and promoting our books! It’s been five years on the road and I still absolutely love van life. From the freedom, to the nature, the minimalism, and the adventure; it’s been a dream come true.

What would you like readers to know about you? What are you working on now?

I work one on one with women to support their journeys of healing, embodiment, and transformation through intuitive readings, Reiki sessions, and group circles. I’m also creating an online Divorce Ritual course that will walk others through the process of creating a practice to find closure from the heartbreak of divorce. One of my greatest passions is sharing the healing path with other women and it feels like the deepest honor and privilege to do so.

End of Interview:

Get your copy of She Journeys from Amazon US.