IndieView with Bob Marsocci, author of You Exhaust Me – A Clueless Guy’s Guide to Marriage

While I am wholly unqualified to give professional marital advice, I honestly believe my book can help guys once they enter a whole new world after saying “I do.”

Bob Marsocci – 1 July 2017

The Back Flap

Why a marriage guide for clueless guys? Do you really have to ask?

More than 2 million guys get married every year in the United States alone, and many (perhaps most) have no clue about the world they will enter once they say, “I do.”

Does a newlywed guy know the 10 Fatal Words his wife will spring on him days before her birthday? Does a guy know why he should never throw away his wife’s “bag of bags”? Does he know why he should avoid watching romance movies with his wife once he’s been married for a couple of years? No, no, and most definitely no! Millions of men are clueless about what to expect from marriage and need practical advice from a guy who has been there and seen it all.

Candid and humorous, You Exhaust Me, A Clueless Guy’s Guide to Marriage, speaks directly to clueless men everywhere. With more than 20 years’ experience (and counting) as a husband, Bob Marsocci provides valuable insight on what guys should really expect after the wedding rings go on. Whether you are engaged, a newlywed or have been married for several years, Bob’s personal and often hilarious marital anecdotes and lessons (often learned the hard way) will enlighten any guy. Take it from a formerly clueless guy: If you want to avoid hearing “You exhaust me!” from your wife, read this book. It’s got the secret sauce to keeping her (and you) happy.

About the book

What is the book about?

My book, titled You Exhaust Me, A Clueless Guy’s Guide to Marriage, is about my marriage – it’s about the myriad lessons I learned (often times the hard way) as a clueless guy early on in my marriage. After more than 20 years (and counting) as a husband–that’s more than 192,000 hours as a married guy–I figured I had enough experience to write a marriage guide book to help other guys who are or will soon be married. The best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell said you have to have “10,000 hours experience in a subject to be an expert.” So by that measure, I’m a mega expert in marriage.

When did you start writing the book?

I started writing the book several years ago.

How long did it take you to write it?

I let my manuscript sit on the hard drive of my computer for a while without touching it. All in all, it took me about three years to write it.

Where did you get the idea from?

At a family gathering several years ago I was giving some tried-and-true marriage advice to my brother-in-law who is 12 years my junior. While I was giving this advice, one person in the group said I should write a marriage guide book for guys. That was the genesis of the idea for my book.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

My wife is a fairly private person. As a result, there were a few parts/chapters where I wanted to go into greater detail, but my wife asked me to not share certain details. Of course, I had to respect her wishes.

What came easily?

Everything I wrote about actually happened to me so it was easy writing about something where I had firsthand experience.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

My book is non-fiction.  All the characters are real.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

Jess Walter is an amazing writer. I read Beautiful Ruins in 2016 and marveled at his creative story-telling ability.

Do you have a target reader?

My primary target reader are guys who are engaged, newlywed or perhaps have been married a few years. I’ve been married for more than 20 years and find there are times when I’m still clueless about the nuances of my wife and idiosyncrasies of marriage.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

I’m not sure if I have a process per se, but I feel most creative at night, so that’s when I do the lion’s share of writing.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

For this book, I did not do an outline beyond chapter headings and a couple of sentences. I am, however, developing an outline for my next book (which will be a novel).

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

I do edit it as I go but realize the finished product must be professionally edited.

Did you hire a professional editor?

Yes, I did hire a professional editor.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

Without question – I enjoy listening to music while I write. I listen to several different musical genres but most often listen to Reggae music while writing.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

Many years ago I submitted my work to an agent. However, I ended up self-publishing.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

I realized that there are many tools available to a writer to self-publish. After doing extensive research and reading many blogs dedicated to self-publishing, I took the plunge and it’s been a great experience.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

My book cover was professionally designed by Gary Rosenberg of “The Book Couple” in Boca Raton, Fla. He did a great job.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

My background is marketing and I developed an extensive marketing plan before finishing my book. I’ve helped launch several consumer products during my marketing career and a marketing strategy/roadmap is a must, regardless of the product.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Do your research and talk with others who have self-published and are Indie authors. I learned so much from friends and acquaintances who self-published before I did. Also, enjoy the process. There may be times you get frustrated (I did and it’s natural to do so) but don’t give up!

About You

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in New England, just outside of Boston and then in Rhode Island.

Where do you live now?

I live in Southern California with my wife, three daughters and two dogs.

What would you like readers to know about you?

While I am wholly unqualified to give professional marital advice, I honestly believe my book can help guys once they enter a whole new world after saying “I do.”

What are you working on now?

I am marketing/promoting You Exhaust Me and am also developing the framework for my second book.

End of Interview:

For more from Bob visit his website, follow him on Twitter, or like his Facebook page.

Get your copy of Exhaust Me: A Cluelss Guy’s Guide to Marriage from Amazon US or Amazon UK.

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