In the end I concluded that we are a society in trouble. We are stuck in our screens, commoditizing ourselves and our children, engaged in lying, manipulating, and losing our own sense of who we are. We live in social media apps pretending to be celebrities and behaving as if life is a reality TV show.

Kathleen P. Allen PhD – 3 August 2025

The Back Flap

Social media and our screen-driven culture have rewritten the rules of acceptable behavior. Our digital interactions are rife with exaggeration, rudeness, sarcasm, preening, and drama. The very tools designed to bring us closer together are driving us apart, and the fallout is hitting home-for us, our families, and our communities.

In Stuck in Our Screens, Allen pulls back the curtain on this pervasive, addictive social drama that’s reshaping our society. From heated online debates to viral outrage, we’ve turned emotional volatility and public performance into the new norm. What’s worse, we’re passing these behaviors to the next generation. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

This timely and thought-provoking book shows how we got here and, more importantly, how we can choose a different path. With a blend of deep insight and practical solutions, Allen explores how to reconnect with ourselves-and each other-in meaningful ways. By understanding the effects of our screen-obsessed culture, we can rebuild stronger, healthier relationships grounded in respect, kindness, and authenticity.

Whether you’re a parent navigating the digital landscape with your kids, a community leader, or simply someone seeking more understanding, empathetic, and relational communication (both online and offline), Stuck in Our Screens is your guide to stepping out of the chaos, and into a world that is truly more connected.

About the book

What is the book about?

In attempting to study bullying in a high school setting, I uncovered a construct that students and teachers referred to as social drama. It grew out of fractious interactions that got blown out of proportion, were about trivial topics, included overreaction, exploded with too much emotion, were prolonged, and was a black hole that everyone was sucked into. Youth do drama often as a way to work out who they are. They are doing identity work. However, I realized that a number of adults do drama too, but in these cases it is symptomatic of a personality disorder, not a developmental exercise.

It occurred to me that adult social drama was much more serious than adolescent social drama, so I changed course and took a broader perspective on the topic. In the end I concluded that we are a society in trouble. We are stuck in our screens, commoditizing ourselves and our children, engaged in lying, manipulating, and losing our own sense of who we are. We live in social media apps pretending to be celebrities and behaving as if life is a reality TV show. We are going in the wrong direction and it’s affecting our connections to ourselves and each other.

When did you start writing the book?

Approximately, 2012, but I’m not exactly sure.

How long did it take you to write it?

Over a decade.

Where did you get the idea from?

It began with my own research on adolescent social drama.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

I struggled with writing about Donald Trump because he is the poster-adult for influential people doing terrible social drama. When I studied him through the same lens I viewed my research participants, the similarities were jaw-dropping. He was the perfect adult example of social drama on steroids, but I knew that some readers would think I was making a political statement by describing his horrible actions. This issue posed a real obstacle, but in the end, I had to include him as an example to make an important point, regardless of his political stances and trajectories.

What came easily?

It was easy writing about my own research, but difficult weaving it into the broader context as the book evolved in a way that I had not foreseen.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

I write nonfiction. The people I include in my book are real.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

My original studying involved peer reviewed articles published in academic journals. Some of the researchers who influenced me include: Alice Marwick, danah boyd, Jean Twenge, Sarah Coyne, Marion Underwood, Dorothy Espelage, Amanda Rose, Susan Harter, etc. (I’ve listed many of them in the Acknowledgements’ section in my book.) I also read many authors who tell their own stories or use others’ research to make a point. They include: Nicholas Carr, Jonathan Haidt, Johann Hari, Scott Lyons, Ramani Durvasula, Margaret Wheatley, Niobe Way, Maryanne Wolf, Christine Rosen, Loretta Ross, Dan Ariely, and many others who are included in the Bibliography of the book. These are the thinkers and idea makers who inspire me.

Do you have a target reader?

I’m speaking to the insightful citizen who is concerned about the human condition and how our thoughts, ideas, and behaviors are influenced by technology and the actions of others online, in the media, and in our shrinking exposure to each other in person. My audience are those who read nonfiction that deals with what we know and how we know it, what we value and how we express it, and who we are and who we might become. My readers are people who care about ideas and thinking.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

I do several things simultaneously as I write. I look for research articles that address my questions. I read, take notes, and write thoughts in the margins. I write memos as I read. Memos are spontaneous ideas that come to my mind as I read and think about what I am reading. Memoing helps connect ideas and build a narrative that is coherent.

I also read books or articles that touch on the questions that develop as I think about what it all means and how it fits together. I search out great thinkers who write exquisitely and see the world in unique ways.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

In writing, one idea or point always leads to other ones. It’s like following a trail of crumbs into the forest. Outlining is a part of it, but more of a way to get ideas down before they are drowned out by another random question or thought. I end up moving topics around to different chapters, and I move chapters around depending on ideas that make their way into the narrative as I write. It’s very messy!

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

I edit as I go, and when I think I’m done, I try to reread as much as possible. The bane of all writers is those missing words or extra words that the brain inserts or sees when they are not there. One thing I look for through the entire process is the answer to the question: Does this make sense?

Did you hire a professional editor?

I hired editors to help with the development of ideas and to make sure the writing was up to industry standards. I didn’t hire a proofreader, but I wish I had.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

I’m a girl who likes silence or the sound of nature… birds singing, water lapping on the shore, wind parting its way through trees, crickets singing, thunder in the distance, or the sound of rain dripping off a roof.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

I tried, but finding an agent is a difficult and time-consuming task.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

What made me go Indie was a sense of urgency. I had been writing off and on for ten years. It had begun to feel like a very long pregnancy. I needed to get the book birthed so I could focus on other things. I couldn’t delay any longer.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

I hired individuals through a website to do developmental editing, copy editing, indexing, cover design, and formatting.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

A publicity company was recommended to me by one of the folks who helped me with the process. The organization put together a campaign that included guest articles, book reviews, interviews, pod casts, and radio shows. Their reach was much further than I could have achieved on my own.

At this point I have not created a presence on social media, in part because I criticize our fixation with social media and how it negatively affects us in the book. It seems hypocritical to use social media to promote my work when I recommend that we cut down on screen time and social media. However, I do expect to create an author’s page at some point.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

I have spent a good bit of money on this process. Writing is stimulating and fulfilling. It appeals to my love of learning and sends me off to answer questions and explore new knowledge. If you can afford to hire out all the pieces that go into making a success of it, go for it. Otherwise, you are not likely to recover the costs you incur to get your work published, and that doesn’t include the time you spent writing. Wish I could be more optimistic about the process of solo publishing!

About You

Where did you grow up?

Rochester NY

Where do you live now?

Rochester NY, but I travel between northern VA, Rochester, and the Thousand Islands of New York frequently.

What would you like readers to know about you?

I went back to school to get a PhD in human development when I was in my fifties. Book writing is a new career for me.

What are you working on now?

Nothing right now, but I am intrigued to know how artificial intelligence will affect how we develop as humans. If I do write another book, the journey will begin there.

End of Interview:

Get your copy of Stuck in Our Screens from Amazon US or Amazon UK.